我生于1989年的北京,曾有人形容我这一代人是“历史中间的一代”。和很多生活在城市里的同龄人一样,消费二字贯穿着我的整个童年–从小看奥特曼和迪士尼动画长大,考试好了的奖励是去水上乐园或者游乐场之类的地方。在当下这样的时代,个体与世界之间的关联变得越发具象而直接:一切似乎都变得触手可得,与此同时一切又变得越发遥远;一个现代人可以在陌生的城市找到无数与家乡雷同的景物,与此同时“家乡”的概念也变得让人陌生。我们似乎时刻都被某种孤独与疏离感笼罩着,它们在一些特定的时刻悄悄来袭。而我非常好奇,在这样的时刻来袭时,个体与她/他所处的空间环境是处于一种怎样的关系。
我始终对“中间地带”这个词组有一种难以言说的迷恋。它会时不时地在不同情况下在我的脑海中浮现:当我独自一人在陌生城市的全国连锁酒店中醒来;当我无数次在大同小异的购物中心逛完街后疲倦地坐在休息区发呆;当朋友带我去她儿时常去的游乐场,结果却只剩下一片已经拆除的空地;当我重游儿时去过的自然博物馆,却发现自己被高仿真植物模型环绕;当我无数次在异乡看到有着熟悉背景的宣传板,走近一看意识到是清一色的“建设理想都市”的标语……
有这样一个画面一直深藏在我的记忆之中:是在幼儿园的小后山,有一小段迷你长城,大概是新建不久的模型,看起来做工非常粗糙,上面还有一些涂鸦和卡通贴画之类的东西,在长城旁边有一组似乎年代比较久远的十二生肖雕像。每当黄昏时刻,夕阳穿过塔楼中的门洞,映照在墙壁两侧的塑料贴画上,折射出的光芒如同白日的星光,伴随着夕阳角度的下降而变幻颜色。这个画面如同一个发光的岛屿一般停驻在我的记忆里,散发着神秘又荒诞的时代错乱感。
这幅图景引导着我开始了"中间地带"的拍摄计划,重新审视一些城市中最为常见的公共空间–水族馆、购物中心、连锁酒店、动物园、天文馆等等,这些我们最为熟悉却又陌生的空间,这些属于这个时代但又似乎与时间本身失去关联的空间。然而在创作的过程中我逐渐意识到极为有趣的一点:这幅来自幼年记忆中的荒诞图景竟让我产生了某种奇异的乡愁感。这导致我在创作过程中的态度逐渐转变,从最初单纯的批判衍生出了一种极为复杂的感情,让我意识到自己试图脱离开时代本身去观察社会环境这个态度是非常傲慢与幼稚的,我需要诚实地面对自己的身份—这就是我所生所长的这个时代,我的一切成长都与之息息相关,甚至是记忆与情感。
I was born in Beijing in 1989, into a generation some described as born “in the gap of history.” Like many other young people born in big cities, my childhood was surrounded by materialism and consumerism- accompanied by Disney toys and animations like Ultraman; the award for getting a good test score would be a ticket to an amusement park or water park. Nowadays, the relation between the individual and the world seems concrete and straightforward: everything we want is within reach. Still everything seems further away, our desires never fulfilled. A person could feel at home in a strange place, but the concept of home also becomes strange at the same time. We are constantly immersed in solitude and isolation, and these sensations arrive at specific but discreet moments. I’m curious about the relation between the individual and their surrounding spaces in these moments.
The phrase “In-Between Places” has always been fascinating to me. It floats into my mind from time to time; waking up alone in a chain hotel in an unfamiliar city; sitting zoned-out in the rest areas of countless indistinguishable shopping malls; going with a friend to an amusement park in her hometown only to find it a vacant lot; returning to the natural history museum I visited as a kid and realizing the immaculate plants and trees were fake; recognizing the same monotonous images of an ideal city on billboards across the country.
There’s an image from my childhood that lingers in my mind: in the playground of my kindergarten was a roughly-built mini Great Wall covered in graffiti and stickers. Next to the Great Wall were a few sculptures of the Zodiac in traditional style. At dusk, the sun crept through the entrance of a turret, changing colours and refracting on the stickers like stars in daylight. The picture is set in my mind like a luminous island, timeless and bizarre.
It’s also this scene which led me to the project of “In-Between Places,” to revisit the most quotidian of public spaces: the shopping centres, chain hotels, zoos, aquariums, planetariums… places at once familiar and strange, belonging to our time but also of an indeterminate age. In the process of creating this work, I found myself developing nostalgia for the childhood memory I intended to criticize. To attempt to observe these moments and spaces as an “outsider,” I realized, was both childish and arrogant. This is the era I know; what I might have looked down upon has equally shaped me from the very beginning, embedded in my memory and emotions.